My rose in heaven, she was too beautiful for earth.

Friday, March 12, 2010


My grief has finally come full circle. Somewhere inside I found inner strength to face the dawn of each new day. I never thought the dark days of grief's winding road would finally bring me to a place of peace. But, here I am! Someday you'll be here too. I'd like to travel the twisting path by your side so you don't  have to travel it alone. No one should ever have to feel alone in their grief. So, here I am!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Peace in my heart

Jessica, my sweet angel baby, my life is richer for having had you in life, as brief as that may have been. I hold you in my thoughts and in my heart. I have good friends who create a wonderful support network for me and through them i have learned that just because I let you go, I will not lose you. You are forever in my heart. With the birthday party, candle lighting and balloon release we had for your 24th heavenly birthday this past weekend, I have felt a calm that I haven't felt in the 24 years since you have been gone. I was so afraid that letting you go would mean I would lose you. I have finally found peace in my heart and it feels good. Know that I will always love and miss you dear sweet baby.


Just when I think
my little girl is gone,
she reminds me
that she is very near.
I see her purity in the snow
that falls from heaven.
Her beauty shows with
the flowers in bloom.
My little girl's love is felt
in the summer sun.
The wind chimes play her music,
while the spring showers
tell of her gentleness.
My little girl reminds me
that she is very near.

Thank you Cara, this is so beautiful!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

My daughter's name

The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you are really my friend, let me hear the beautiful music of her name. It soothes my heart and sings music to my soul.   Jessica, Jessica, Jessica, Jessica.
 Likewise I love to see her name in print. Whether it be written in the sand, stars, or in the snow, seeing her name in print may bring tears to my eyes but it brings a smile to my heart.

Thank you Jill!! Thank you Franchesca for the beautiful Memory box made from Jessica's hope collage! It's beautiful!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Something New

Wow, Lots of new things for me lately. I would never have thought I would be one to have my own blog site. I always marveled at those who had them. They had so much to say and did it very well. I am not the best writer, nor can I even say that I like to write. But, here I am!

We just celebrated my daughter Jessica's 24th heavenly birthday! It seems in one way so surreal that it has been that long. But, then again, wasn't it just yesterday? I'm not sure where the time has gone. I thought sure I wouldn't be able to go on with my life after losing her, after losing them... I have made some gigantic steps this past year in coming to terms with my daughter's death. I have struggled within myself for 23 years, grieving her on my own. Looking back, I have to admit it wasn't the most healthy grieving process. Then I found SHARE Southern Vermont and my life changed completely again. I now have people who have been through, are going  through, and sadly still some who have yet to go through the loss of a child. There is no tighter bond than the bond between those who have lost a child. When you lose a spouse you are a widower, when you lose a parent you are an orphan, when you lose a child, there are no words to describe us.  Our future, our dreams, all our hopes for our life are changed forever and finding a way to adapt and go on is the challenge we all face. I faced this challenge alone and I vow, because of SHARE, I will never let another parent face their challenge alone. I want to start my blog by thanking those most important in my healing process. Cara, Laurie, Gretchen, Jessica, Jill and Mark, Maggie and Andy, and Shannon. Thank you all for being so supportive and letting me help you through your healing process. It's amazing how many people come together in support when they hear our stories. There are so many more people to connect with through their blogs and places like facebook that the amount of support is just amazingly strong. The bonds we form with people on the other side of the world can be amazingly strong too and I have never even met them. They all have a hand in our healing process and they are all so very important in my life. It's because of all of you, that I can gain my strength as a healing mother of loss and not let my daughter Jessica's life, or the life of the rest of my angles go on in silence. I want people to hear my story, to know my story and to know that I am here to help them because of my story. My dear sweet Jessica, if your life, so brief was to bring ME to this place where I can help others through their grief then I glady accept my place in this life in remembrance of you!
           Always Remembered, Forever Loved,